Pollyanna

I wish that I would have kept a notebook by my bed at night to record all of the silly dreams, deep thoughts, random ideas that I have in the middle of the night.  If I had been very diligent with writing them down I probably would have volumes recorded .  The other night had not been too different from many others, I was restless and woke up several times. My mind was racing every direction and replaying events of the day over and over.   By about the third and most vivid dream I lay there awake pondering all that had transpired.  My dreams are usually a mix of the good and bad, if I have watched a show or had a conversation with someone that day if reappears in my dreams but is twisted and unreal.  I usually wake up with an anxious feeling similar to that of one who has just had a nightmare  This time I woke up giving myself a speech.  It was about gratitude.   I attribute these feelings or thoughts to a couple of blogs I had read earlier in the evening. It is hard to read about others who experience lots of heartache and trials.  I had been very touched by what they wrote.    The following words and thoughts came to my mind.  I only write these feelings down so that I can read them later and remind myself of this moment. (after awhile the memories fade )  It wasn't anything profound, it's just a good reminder of how I should think, feel and live my life.  Heartache and life happen.  I have known this for so long   But today I am grateful for the breath I am allowed to take for somewhere someone else may be taking their last.  I am allowed to stay on earth to live, learn and experience life.   I get to be with my family,, I get to love and be loved.  My body still moves, I get to make choices about how my day will go and they are not dictated by ill health or other circumstances.  I get to take it all in.    So...what am I doing about it?  I'm feeling sorry for myself and allowing my own trial to weigh me down.  This is when I got up and wrote my speech to myself down.  It was time to really live...... I thought about the character in the movie Pollyanna, I don't remember her name but she was consumed with the thoughts about dying and filled with self pity for her situation.  Do you remember that scene?  I do,  I love it for it is where Pollyanna reminds her that she ought to get on with living.  That was my message to myself.  Be grateful for the moment, get on with living !!!